Hello Old Friend.....

Hello all.  Wow......2 years.  I can't believe it's been 2 years since we've last connected.  There's been a lot that has happened here.  I'll tell you all about it, but try to make it short.

I've been hemming and hawing over what to do with this blog.  I wanted to talk about my journey, but I knew that a big part of that would probably alienate most of my current (or former) audience with all the technical jargon.  And I don't really want to be a technical blogger.  Blogging for me was always a way to share my knowledge to help others, share my story so others know they aren't alone in theirs, and sometimes to process my thoughts when things get murky in my head.  I couldn't quite figure out where my niche was anymore.  However, this Spring, we finally found out that Little Man tested high on the gifted scale and Peanut is Autistic.  RacDad and I are pretty good when it comes to parenting gifted kids.  We are both "gifted" and have our own school experiences with that, plus Sweet Pea is gifted too.  However, the autism diagnosis kinda spun my head.  It wasn't even on my radar.  And we're pretty sure that Little Man is autistic too, now that we're learning more about it.   After learning this, we we're sure how to talk to people about it.  Or if we should talk to people about it because of the misunderstanding that most people have.  Then we realized....these are our kids.  We're proud of them.  And this is all apart of what makes them the special little people that we love so much.  So, we're going to share.  We have SO MUCH to learn about all of this.  We don't know exactly where to start.  But we're going to share our journey with all of you and hopefully some of you might be able to help us learn more too.  

Last we talked, I had just finished my degree in Computer Securities and I was searching for my path that summer.  I played around with my own business of being a specialty seamstress.  Shortly after that, and one reason why I stopped blogging, was because I got a job as a programmer for an international company.  It was fun and gave me a lot of critical experience that helped shape me for my current position.  I now work for a really amazing company that is locally based in their security department.  The position is a perfect balance of analytics, programming, research, and individual and team work.  I really love it and the people I work with.  I am having some health problems with my heart.  I'm at the beginning of this journey, trying to find the cause and solution to it, but happily we are making some progress.  I will share more about that when I get more info, but it all is making me reassess priorities and take a hold of my interests again.

RacDad finally got out of the casino industry!  He found a job that is very fulfilling for him.  Not only that, but he is working a normal schedule....he's home at night, on weekends, and holidays.  It's wonderful for the whole family.  And we not have time again to do activities, and hang out with family and friends.  It's wonderful to see him happy and well rested again.

Sweet Pea is in High School!  Yep.  She's a bonafide driver and everything.  She's also my saving grace with Little Man and Peanut.  She goes to an alternative high school that is project based learning with high technical access.  She is following in my footsteps and is very interested in Computer Securities and Programming.  I'm pretty proud.

Little Man is going into Second Grade this year.  His last two years were quite the struggle in school.  He gets very bored in class and gets too active and wiggly in the classroom.  His teacher last year was really good with him, but it was quite the struggle for her.  We're hoping the extra gifted classes will help him find his focus.

Peanut will be in Kindergarten.  We are very excited for her to start and we really hope that she will have a successful year.  Her verbal abilities have soared since January and we are really happy with her progress.  I'll be sharing more about all of that another day.

I have missed you all, and I am going to try really hard to get back to blogging on a regular basis.  Especially since I've finally found my groove and have something to share with everyone again.
 

GenCyber Girls

Hello all!!!  It's been a while, but I've been a crazy busy chickadee this summer.  I've been playing catch-up with the kids since this is the first summer that I haven't had a full load of college classes.  I'm also working from home as a hobby seamstress making wonderful creations out of Ju-ju-be materials and altering Ju-ju-be bags.  It's been a lot of fun being creative and taking a little technical break.

But that only lasted a few weeks because now I'm at camp!!  I know, right?  So much fun seeing 100 girls from 7 different states all coming together to geek out.  Well, all of them are not the stereotypical geek.  There's so many different types of girls from different backgrounds.  It's really inspiring to see such a blend, and I'm honored to be able to meet and work with all of them to get them excited about this crazy passion of mine.  Well....one of the crazy passions.  And yes, I'm getting them all excited about Ju-ju-be and TokiDoki too.  I did have to bring a bag for every occasion.

It's really impressive to see all my former instructors coming together and working with all the girls.  I'm really enjoying assisting them, and being able to jump in and apply this knowledge that I just spent the last 2 years working on.  It's lighting a fire under my belly to not give up my job search and just throw in the towel.  I'm still not employed yet, and the search was getting really disheartening because everyone preaches about how easy it is to get a lucrative job in this industry, especially if you're a girl.  But nope.  That hasn't been my experience yet.  I keep thinking maybe I'm just not doing it right or maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was.  But after these last few days working with these awesome people, I'm bound and determined that I just need to keep plugging along to find that right job with that right company.

Well, enjoy your summer and I'll be checking in periodically!

Dahling Bag

My internet besties are amazing.  We've been connected for well over a year now and we talk regularly.  We celebrate our joys and we commiserate our troubles together.  We also share about our obsessions, from bags to planners and everything in between.  They've been a wonderful group to be with.

Today, I received a generous surprise in the mail.  A wonderful card and a beautiful bag that I will treasure.  I was so blown away by the thoughtfulness.  I had to get online and share with them my surprise and my gratitude.  Then I sat down across the table from The RacDad for lunch and we had this conversation.

Me:  I am so grateful for these amazing women.

RacDad:  Yep.  They're pretty awesome.

Me:  Why is the word grateful spelled g-r-a-t-e?  Shouldn't it be g-r-e-a-t?  Because grate is to cut something into small pieces by running it over a slotted sharp object.  Great is good.

RacDad:  Well, grateful is derived from the word "gratitude".

Me:  Oh, yeah.  Well then shouldn't it be gratiful?  That would make more sense.

RacDad (with a suspicious look on his face):  Yes dear, you're right.  It should be gratiful.

This is a common type of conversation around our house; random tangents that have nothing to do with the actual conversation.  I call them our "squirrel moments".  And I guess this is my way of saying "Thank you so much" to my wonderful ladies that I treasure.  And I look forward to the adventures I'll have with my Dahling new bag.....starting with graduation next weekend.  This will be fun to document and share with you all.

Opening a can of worms

I had a good friend this week bring up the topic of "feminism".  Now, I've never been the type of person that needs to label things.  Before The RacDad and I were married, we were "just best friends" (which still gets brought up in jest by my parents.)  This conversation, however, piqued my interest and brought a lot of good and interesting ideas into play.

I personally will never say that people need to be treated equal.  Individuals are not equal.  Men really are different than women.  The varying generations are all different from each other.  So, it's really impossible for everyone to be equal.  What is important though, is fairness.  People deserve to be treated fairly.  Life isn't black and white and people are not made with cookie cutters.

What is feminism?  Who can be a feminist?  Is this a bad thing or a good thing?  These are all thoughts that ran through my head at the introduction of the topic.  I've never thought of myself as a feminist.  I guess it's because when I think feminism, I think of hippies putting on their "power suits", trying to break through the glass ceiling in the 80s.  I think of bra burning, "damn the man" types of extremists.  Turns out though, I've always been a feminist.  And so is my husband.  What?  Yeah, I would say that my husband is a feminist too.  What I learned from this very enlightening debate, is that people of any sex can be a feminist.  Feminism is really supporting and empowering women in a way that encourages fairness.  A feminist is anyone who supports women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.  Feminists can be working parents or stay at home parents too.  We can celebrate the differences while treating each other like humans in a fair manner.

Now many people will argue that feminism isn't important or needed anymore.  They will say that it's turned into a bad thing.  I wonder if it's just because they have been fortunate enough to experience fairness in their lives and live around fair-minded people.  Personally, I have not been so sheltered.  That's another post for another day though.  Not to say that my experiences have been bad; they have just shaped how I view the world around me.   These experiences have broken me out of my shell and provoked me to be an advocate for fairness.

The New "Lock Your Doors"

People had to learn to lock their doors to increase the protection of their homes or cars.  This is just like that.  People need to learn what to do with any information that can identify who they are.  Let me talk to you about Personal Identity Information (PII).  PII is anything that can be used to identify you.  It includes name, address, phone number, email address, birthdate, zip code, log in usernames, passwords, fingerprints, DNA, and more.

Everything has gone digital: bank records, voting records, medical records, school records, social media, etc.  You are out there in the world, exposed more now than ever before.  Your information is literally at anyone's fingertips.  This is why it is so important to be more cautious about who you share that information with and how you share it.

Companies are always asking for more, but their policies do not protect you as a consumer.  So, when you are standing in person at the check out and they ask for your phone number or email address, they are trying to get more of your information to use to market or even SELL to other companies to use to try to target you as a consumer.  You do not need to give out this information.  Plus, you don't gain from doing it.  They tell you that it's to get coupons or special promotions in the mail, but you can find those if you are looking.  They don't need your information for you to get theirs.  So, just politely decline.  Or, set up a dummy email account that is used strictly for companies to target.  Just don't use that email for financial or personal interactions.

Don't be this person!

When on social media, be cautious.  Make your security settings private, and check in on them every few months (because things do change.)  On your own page, do not post things like your phone number, email address, physical address, even geolocation.  Wait to post your vacation pictures until you are back home.  I know it's neat to share, but if you are away from home, the last thing you want to do is tell people "Hey!  There's an empty house, and here's the address!"  You don't know who the "friends of your friends" are and who can see what you wrote when someone else "likes" it.  When you are on a public page, do not post your paypal address, zip code, phone numbers, or physical address.  You don't know who else is watching and who can gain that information.  If you need to get that information to one person/company for whatever reason, then send it in a Private Message (PM.)  That way, you have a record of who you gave that information to and why.

Try to keep a record of who you give information to.  When you are in person, write down what companies you used your credit card at, which ones asked for your phone number or email address, and who you gave a business card to.  When online, print screen, print screen, print screen.  Keep a picture file on your computer (and back it up somewhere else) and dump all the print screens there.  That way, if something goes wrong, you have a record of when and who has your information.

The only way to protect yourself is to protect your PII.  The internet has made many things faster and more convenient, but protecting your information is not one of those things.  The internet has made that harder and more tedious.

Technically Yours

I've been spooling for months, okay, closer to a full year.  I just didn't know where to start.  My life has changed drastically since I was last talking to all of you on a regular basis.  The kids are growing up, fully potty learned, and gaining independence.  My attention has been focused on finishing a degree in a completely new career field for me.  And because of all this, I have left you all in the dark.

I wasn't exactly sure how to proceed with this adventure that I started 5 years ago.  I watched it grow, worked hard to market it, worked with some really wonderful people/companies/fellow bloggers.  It was amazing.  I don't want to let that go, but at the same time, my life is different now.  When I first started OTTW, I specifically named it so that it could grow with me as my life grew.  I never expected to be a "mommy blogger" or "cloth diaper blogger" specifically.  That's just what filled my attention at that time.  And, of course, I still have a lot to say on a lot of different subjects.

So, it is time for OTTW to evolve.  I hope you all stick around, meet new people, explore new adventures with me.  I'll still talk about kids, and family life.  I'm just letting you all know that it could be filled with some more technical information too.

I am set to graduate this May with my degree in Computer and Networking Security with an emphasis in Information Assurance.  As I've been learning more and more about this field and getting a chance to meet some industry giants, I've learned that the biggest hurdle to this industry is social awareness.  So, that's what I'm going to do.  I will strive to not get too techy, geeky, technical.  (I have a knack for speaking in lay terms from working in the automotive industry for over a decade.)  But there's some really, really important stuff that all of you should know.  Stuff on how to protect yourself, and more importantly, how to protect your family and your kids.

We're all reaching a turning point in our lives where, like many years ago, we had to learn to lock the door of the car when we walk away, or lock up the house when we leave.  It's simple stuff that people just don't quite think about all the time.  But it's important to make it a part of your everyday online life.  But, I'll get more into that as we go along........

Birth Experience Regrets

I have been very active over the years on forums for mothers to talk, get advice and support, and to share their stories.  One thing that I have always told women, especially first time moms, is to share their birth stories.  Every birth is different and unique.  Birth can be very traumatizing though.  It's wonderful, painful, stressful, joyous, and a plethora of other emotions all rolled into one.  Any person that goes through an experience where they have that many things going on at the same time need to talk about it to help them process what it is that they went through.  Whether it was a good experience or a bad experience.

I have shared my birth stories here.  I even live blogged Peanut's delivery for two days, up to the point where I was whisked away into an operating room.  Then I wrote about it on a friend's blog as a guest poster.  Now, come to find out, because of my genetic disorder, there is a reason why I had strange complications with all three of my births.  My normal is not the regular normal.  But to me, I just felt that everyone is different and unique so what really is "normal" when it comes to the miracle of birth?

I, unfortunately, have heard time and time again over the years about women who have had cesarean sections, and how they felt like less of a person, or how their body had failed to do the one thing that it was built to do, or how they were "assaulted" or "robbed" of their natural experience.  I have also seen women talk about others that have had cesarean sections like they all carelessly planned it to be that way, they are ignorant or lesser people, or that they are not "real women".  Now, I agree that the US definitely does not have a good track record with treating pregnant women and not rushing things when it comes to delivery.  (Seriously doctors, this really is up to the babies and God!  Not you!  But that's another tangent for another day.)  Women need to support each other, not berate each other or even ourselves.  Using these harsh words like assault when it comes to birth is not a healthy way to feel.  And holding onto those negative feelings is not healthy.

Now, just to make it perfectly clear.  I had two vaginal deliveries.  My last baby was an emergency csection.  So, I really do know what I'm talking about when I talk about experiencing birth.  I have been pregnant seven times, so I really do know what it's like to think that you can never have kids.  Personally, through all of my life changing experiences, the one thing that I learned was to love what you have been blessed with and live on.  It's not easy to do.  And it's impossible if you are depressed (I know what that's like too.)  The first step is to keep that as the goal to reach; being thankful for what you have.

For the women that can't stand the phrases, "At least you have a healthy baby." and "It doesn't matter how baby came into the world, they got to come into the world."  You really need to seek professional help.  Because you DO have a healthy baby, and you are healthy and able to be alive to enjoy that bundle of joy.  That is why we have csections.  So that mom and baby can survive birth.

Now before you jump to conclusions and think that I'm being flippant, I am not.  If you can't get over the feelings of regret, pain, hate, and anger, then you really do need help.  You cannot be the best person that you can be, the best mother that you can be, or even the best wife that you can be if you are angry, hurt, regretful, and full of hate.  Having that level of regret that you will cry if anyone says the word csection, or if you can't stand the idea of walking into a hospital because you break down at the sight of an operating room, it will leave you a shell of the person that you once were.  We all know that you love your baby.  But if you can't look at that scar in the mirror without having that feeling that something is squeezing your heart, then you need to talk to someone about it.  You need to let that hate, anger, and regret go.

I understand that hate.  I understand that anger.  I understand the "what ifs" that go through your mind.  I understand that deep in your heart pain that is covered by the love that you have for this beautiful baby.  My csection took 45 minutes, two sets of doctors hands, taking my organs out of my body, to reach my child.  Then another 1.5 hours to put me back together again.  It was 8 days in the hospital and more than 4 months of recovery.  And I am left, 2.5 years later, with a scar that feels like pins and needles if anything touches it.  If I had my doctor that delivered Little Man, none of this would have happened.  She would have physically turned Peanut before my water broke.  She would have known that there was something wrong the first day of labor instead of sending me home.  She would have listened to my worries that first day instead of trying to reassure me that it wasn't time.  But that didn't happen.  And there's nothing that I can do about it now.

That's the thing.  You can't change the decision.  It was the best decision that you could have made for yourself in the moment with the options that you had.  You can't change that now.  All you can do, is tell your story.  Heal your heart, and not dwell on the things that you can't change.  I'm not saying that you have to be joyous that things didn't turn out the way that you wanted.  But at the same time, you can't hold onto the pain of it either.  It's okay to feel about this; to work through the grieving period.  It's not okay to say, "I love my child, but...."  That "but" should not be there.  If you can't get through the grieving process, you need someone who can help you get through it.

Very few women who give birth naturally have things happen the way that they wanted.  I had complications with both of my vaginal deliveries that have left me scarred inside and out.  I was terrified to give birth a second time after my first horrible birth experience.  So, every delivery is a miraculous, life changing event, but not every delivery is exactly what you want or what you expect.  That's okay.  That's normal.  No one will tell you this because they don't want you to worry, but that's how it works more often than those picture perfect, made for TV deliveries.

There are a lot of unrealistic expectations when it comes to giving birth these days.  Women think that if they "do all the research" and "learn everything" that they will be fully prepared when the time comes and nothing will go wrong.  That's extremely unrealistic.  Birth is unexpected.  It is uncontrollable.  People really have to learn what they can to make educated decisions, but not expect everything to go according to plan.  Don't set yourself up for disappointment.  And when things do go off plan, don't hate yourself for it because you have no control over that.  You didn't fail.

These feelings of hate, regret, anger, and disappointment are not normal after the first few months.  Of course, you need time to process and time to feel.  But you can't hold onto it.  Just like with Postpartum Depression, you really need to tell a doctor about these feelings and get some help to work through them.  These feelings are normal, and they do happen, but it is not normal to hold the grudges.  It is not healthy to hold onto the grudges.  Please, if you still feel this hurt from your birth experience, please see someone who can help you get through it so you can be fully happy again.  Then, you'll really learn to understand and embrace the phrase, "Be Grateful."

Catching up

Hello!  It's been a long time since I last wrote to you.  I had so many aspirations for this blog that I couldn't live up to.  So, I'm going to explain why and catch us all up.

There has been so many things that I have wanted to write about, but didn't know how it would fit into the format of this blog.  But, since my life is changing, I'm finding out that this blog has to change too.  I mean, the job of The Trophy Wife is one that can adapt.  Right?  So, the babies are now full fledged toddlers.  No more diapers.  No more high chairs.  They are running, playing, counting, spelling, and even reading (I know!  Surprised me too!)  I am about to have a tween in my house.  Sweet Pea turns 12 in a short 3 weeks.  Little Man is 4 and just finished Preschool.  And Peanut is 2.5 years old and out running Little Man.  These kids are keeping me on my toes!

I have one year left of school.  I am starting a part time job this summer while I take a couple online courses, and then next fall and spring will be part time semesters.  Then watch out world!  This girl's gonna take over. Well, maybe not.  But I am going to do my darnedest to make everyone safer with these fancy computer skills that I'm gaining.  Because this is a big part of my life now, this blog is going to become less cloth diaper, baby gear info and more computer securities and how to keep yourself and your kids safe when using computers in general.  But I'll still go off on my tangents on hot topic issues and general observations that I feel that I need to share too.  Plus, I think it's safe to say that even though my addiction to cloth diapers is no longer there, I have gotten a new addiction to Ju-ju-be bags.  I can't wait to share more about those, but I don't dare post a stash shot here.  Well, maybe I will someday.  I am hoping to get back to posting regularly so that I can bring you some really fun giveaways again. Because reviews and giveaways are a lot of fun.  I really love promoting businesses and talking about products that make my life easier.  (I find some really cool stuff!)

Now, here's the kicker.  Besides the crazy schedules: work, kids, school, etc., I have been having some unexplained medical issues the last year or so.  This more than anything has been what has kept me from being able to write like I wanted to.  Just recently, I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlow Syndrome.  I will be writing more about my health issues in another post.

So, I just wanted to let you all know that I am not gone.  I've just been indisposed.  I have missed you and I thank you all that have stuck around with me.  I will try to not disappoint.

The Cold and Your Car

It seems that this winter has been extremely cold for most of the US.  We had a cold snap come on early in the winter season here and it never seemed to go away.  I am worried what February is going to be like considering it's been so cold and snowy since November.  Since most of us are experiencing this, I want to impart a little experience when it comes to your vehicle and these extreme temperatures.

Here are a few things that you can do to help your vehicle during extreme cold weather.

• Continue to perform your regular maintenance services
• Monitor your tire wear, tread, and pressure
• Check your fluids and rubber components (belts and hoses) in between services
• Take it into a repair facility if something starts making a funny noise or you notice a change
• When you first get into your vehicle, turn the key to "ON" but do not crank the starter.  Let it sit on for 30 seconds (while you adjust your seat, play with the radio, and buckle your seat belt.)  Then crank it to start the engine.  This will allow your injectors to warm up and your car will start easier.
• There is no reason to start your car to "warm it up" if you are not going to be driving it.  Back in the days of carburetors, this may have been a helpful thing.  But with our cars, the injectors don't need that.  Only start your car and "warm it up" if you plan to drive it.  By turning it on for a period of time and then turning it off and walking away, it builds air into your fuel system which will cause more wear on your vehicle in the long run.  If you feel that you need to start it in the middle of the day, then drive it around the block before leaving your vehicle again. 

When you are going to be out on the road, it's important to be prepared for the off chance that your car may breakdown.  What I do is I take my favorite car bag (I use a Ju-ju-be BeTween or a SuperBe), and I pack it with items that I would need if stuck on the side of the road.  They are:

• A small metal coffee can (I store all the little things inside this.)
• A matchbook (not a lighter)
• A small tea light candle
• A hat, scarf, and insulated gloves
• A small blanket
• A bottle of water
• Nonperishable snacks; like Clif Bar, cereal bars, nuts, etc.

If you find yourself stuck because your vehicle broke down, do not get out of your vehicle if the temperature is 10 degrees or lower.  Call 911 or an emergency provider and wait for help to come.  When the temperature is that low, you can easily get hypothermia or frostbite.

If you find yourself stuck in the snow or ice, bundle up well, call for help, and then assess what is wrong.  You can use the candle inside the empty coffee can to put behind your tire to melt the ice or snow.  This will help you get traction to get your car moved.

Drive safely, don't overdrive the conditions when there is ice or snow, and bundle up to stay warm.

Break time!

Well, this has been a whirlwind year.  I finally have a month long break between semesters at the University.  I plan on using this break to get back to work.  I have missed writing to you all and interacting with you.  So, I plan to use this time wisely to get prepared for the next semester.  I plan to have one post a month at the very least.  I am still so touched by how many people still consistently come here to visit, even though I haven't been consistent.  All of your support through this year has been a motivator.  I know that my hard work is worth all of the sacrifices.

Just to catch all of you up on what's going on in my world.  I started in January as a full time college student.  I am working towards my degree in Computer Securities and Networking (with an emphasis on securities.)  I am LOVING it!  I love my classes, and I really love the industry.  It is challenging and exciting.  I started Spring 2013 taking one in-person class at a satellite university and the rest of my classes were online.  Then in Summer 2013, I had half my classes online and half in-person.  Fall 2013, I decided that it was beneficial to take all my classes in-person.  I took 3 of them at the satellite university and one of them on main campus.  Main campus is a 45 minute, one way, drive for me.  (Luckily, The RacDad got me an iPod to keep me company on my drive, and I thank him everyday for it.  I forgot how much music was a part of my life.)  The one main campus class was phenomenal!!  Because of that experience, I will be taking all four of my classes next semester up there.  I am not too excited about driving in the winter out into the country on back highways to get to the university, but I am more than excited to work with these teachers!  The program is awesome.  So, the benefits far outweighed the risks.

I became addicted to Ju-ju-be bags this year.  And shortly after, I found Petunia Pickle Bottom.  It's a dangerous addiction to have....at least for my pocketbook.  I have finally narrowed down my favorite bags and prints.  With one exception.  I am still looking for the perfect bag to use for next semester.  Being on the main campus, I am going to need to tote along all of my gadgets (computer, tablet, phone, and chargers) and my textbooks.  I also have to have my personal items and snacks!  I found a book bag that is okay.  But it's a tight fit for my 15 inch laptop, and it's hard to carry over the top of my winter coat.  I have an idea of what might work though.  I'm thinking of using my Ju-ju-be BePrepared bag.  I just wish that it had backpack straps for those times when back carrying would be more convenient.  I will have to let you all know what I find.

 We are no longer cloth diapering and we are no longer breastfeeding.  Peanut turned 2 in October and with my busy school schedule, she decided that she no longer needed 'nummies'.  She was content to wean.  It was bittersweet for me.  I missed having that connection with her, but I don't miss the torn feeling that I had when I had to be away from her for classes.  She also started potty learning at the same time.  So, we transitioned to trainers and sold all of our cloth diapers (or traded them for bags.)  She is keeping up with her big brother, and we are afraid that she is more fearless than he is!  She is a daredevil.  It will be fun to watch her grow and see the type of person that she becomes.

Little Man is full of energy.  He keeps us on our toes and is SO smart!  He spells words, counts, sings songs, climbs on everything, and loves to play with his sisters.  He will be starting preschool in January.  He is more than ready and is always asking about going to school.  I can't wait to see him go and watch the changes as he learns how to listen to others and grows.

Sweet Pea is surprising us everyday.  She is in Middle School now and plays the French Horn and the Cello.  She loves them both and has an amazing ear.  I love that even though The RacDad and I didn't influence her decisions to participate in music classes, she is truly a great musician.  I like having that to share with her.  We try to steal away for "Girls Afternoons" once every 3 weeks or so.  We go out for lunch and then do something fun, like go to a museum or just window shop downtown and grab a sweet treat.  She is growing into the most amazing young woman.

The RacDad is busy with his job and helping to keep up the house for me.  He does so much to help me out so that I can focus on classes and homework.  He daydreams of being a stay-at-home dad once I start working again, but I don't think he'd ever quit his job.  He likes it too much.  He still amazes me everyday.  I am so lucky to be his wife.  After 15 years, 12 of them living with each other, I am still excited to spend every day with him.  I am in awe of how good we are together.

We have missed being able to travel to see our family and friends.  It's been a pretty lonely year.  But we knew that it was part of the sacrifices that we had to make.  Hopefully, we will be able to play catch-up this summer.

Thank you all for all of your support and kind words.  It has been greatly appreciated.

Happy holiday season to you all.

Black Thursday

Sorry it has been so long since I've written.  Things have been very busy with full time school, the kids, and The RacDad's odd work schedules.  But we are looking forward to one of our favorite holidays coming up soon.  We love Thanksgiving.  The time with our families while we cook comfort foods and just enjoy being together.  We nap, do puzzles, sit and talk, and of course, eat.  It's a very surreal time to reflect on the years; to be grateful for the ups and downs and everything that has made our family special.

I have worked many years in the retail industry.  Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is the biggest day of the year in retail.  It's dreaded because of all the prep and hard work that is crammed into one day, but it is anticipated because, if you're working on commission, it's the day where you make bank!  That commission check is awesome to get.  But it is always nice to know that you get Thanksgiving to be with your families before the really busy season begins.  After Thanksgiving, you know that you have to work Black Friday, early mornings and late nights for months, AND Christmas Eve (which I like to thank men for because they are the ones typically out that night doing last minute shopping.)

So, here's the kicker.  This year, large retailers have announced that they are pushing the limits of Black Friday from midnight all the way into Thursday.  These large retailers do not pay their employees commission for their sales.  Most of these employees get a low hourly wage.  Some employers will pay up to 50% more for working on a holiday, but not all of them.  Some of the retailers say that their employees know what they are getting into when they apply for the job, but if you have worked at these places for more than 6 months, you wouldn't have known that they were planning to do this.  It's not like working in the casino industry or a hospital when you know that they are open 24/7 every single day of the year, never closing, and that working holidays is part of the job.  Retail employees work late hours and some holidays, and most of them work for very poor wages.

I think it is absolutely disheartening that these retailers think that it's okay to do that to their employees.  Black Friday weekend is stressful enough.  Extending into the ONE holiday that they get to have just before a crazy busy two months of holiday shopping is just inexcusable.  And the worst part is, these retail stores are doing it because they think they can make an extra buck off of you.

So, don't be tempted by the super "sales" and the added "coupons" or "money back".  Don't be tempted by the promise of less stressful shopping and smaller crowds.  If you shop on Thanksgiving, then they will continue to open on Thanksgiving.  They will continue to push that time back until it reaches midnight on Thanksgiving and start trickling into Wednesday, Tuesday or even Monday.

Don't let the consumerism beast take over what you all know in your heart to be fair.  Let these employees enjoy their day with their family, just like you.  Let's keep Thanksgiving where we are thankful for the bounty that we have, instead of making into a way to get things we don't immediately need at the expense of others.

Clothing ideas

Now that I am back in college, I feel the need to wear clothes that are comfortable sitting in classes for hours on end, but that are also stylish and age appropriate.  I don't want to be the "old person" in the room trying to act young.  At the same time, I don't want to look like I am putting too much effort into looking "mature".  I just want to be comfortable.  My go to is my favorite jeans and solid colored, fitted tees.  Now that it is starting to get cold, I am looking for long sleeve options.

I came across Michael Stars clothing while looking online yesterday.  I like how they look relaxed yet stylish at the same time.  I love tunic shirts and basic tees.  I live in tank tops and layer almost everything.  I don't want to look too "business casual" or "professional" when I'm sitting in classes, especially since I usually get home from class and take the kids to the park.  All of these styles would fit my active lifestyle that I love, and still allow me to feel feminine and flirty.

I have other favorites too, like my tunic sweaters when it gets cold outside.  I have been told often that I should get out of my comfort zone by wearing jeans every single day and turn to something different like a skirt.  I have never really been a skirt person.  I am often wondering if I could find the right skirt to go with my favorite tops, my plain colored fitted tees.  I desperately need someone to help me pick out a wardrobe, but I think I am stumbling across some promising ideas like the one that I found yesterday.

STMML - Raccoon Story

I love a good laugh.  Some days that is what gets me through.  We laugh a lot in our family, but we have a very 'sophisticated' humor that is dry and sometimes sarcastic.  One of my favorite memories always makes me chuckle.  It's the Raccoon Story.

The RacDad and I lived on my family farm for the first 4 years of our marriage.  When SweetPea was about 2 years old, we had a lot of wild animals that liked to come onto our acreage; deer, woodchucks, opossums, and raccoons, to name a few.  Our farmhouse sat on about an acre with a driveway that circled it and a 1 stall garage near the house.  The larger buildings and our 2 car garage sat on the other side of the driveway.  And we kept our garbage cans under the safety light on the other side of the drive from the house.

Diamond Candle Review and Giveaway!

After a long summer of classes, I needed something fun as a little "reward" for my hard work.  I was looking for something fun and unique.  I was approached at just the perfect time by Diamond Candles to do a review and giveaway of their product.  I honestly had never heard of them before.  So, after checking out their website and doing a little search, I was fully on board to try them out!  I like surprises, I love jewelry, and I missed having candles in the house.  So, this was perfect!

Back to School

It's back to school time in our house.  Sweet Pea just finished her first full week of school and is officially in Junior High!  Ahh!  My baby is growing up and turning into a lovely young woman.  I am excited and nervous to watch her change and grow up in the next few years because the time is going to go SO fast.

Close-out Diaper Sale!

I just wanted to share with all my cloth diapering friends about an online store that is having a close-out sale. The mama that owns the store has closed her wholesale account, selling her business, and is moving on to a different journey (with a baby on the way!)

So, go check out Fluff Bottoms, and use the code "SUMMER20" at the checkout to get 20% off your entire order.

In A Comfort Zone

Me, as I write this, in all my "morning glory".

My mother is a professional cosmetologist.  I grew up in a "beauty shop" (I hate that term) and hear countless stories about how I was spending time in the mirror as a young child.  These stories always make me feel like I am narcissistic or obsessed with looks, even though it is completely normal for kids to learn about themselves by looking at their reflections.  My mom has always told me to fix my hair, or put on some makeup because "it will make you feel better."  While, sometimes it's true just based on the fact that you are spending time on yourself and that can be cathartic.  At the same time, I find myself saying ,"Why is that necessary?"

Memory Lane

I was sitting at the dinner table with Sweet Pea the other night and somehow got onto the conversation about "Grunge".  She had never heard the word.  She said she knows about "Hippies" and "Hipsters".  So, we started by talking about the obvious...Seattle, plaid shirts, ripped jeans, and music from the '90s.

This is my very long assorted playlist that I need to make for her (okay...more for myself) of my favorites.  Some of them are there because they are mainstream and she might have heard them, and others are there because they are just awesome!  There's bands that you all probably have heard of, along with some lesser known bands.  This is a very eclectic mix of Alternative Music from the '90s, even including some Christian Alternative.  Sorry....there are no big sellouts like "Sugar Ray", "Chumbawumba", "Hootie", "Citizen King", "Dave Matthews", "The Offspring", "Alanis Morissette", or "Rage Against the Machine".  Not to say that they didn't have their place...I just didn't want them on this list.

In no particular order, my 57 artist list: ( Artist - Song  *commentary is preceded by an asterisk.)

Silverchair - Ana's Song
The Murmurs - You Suck  *because angry girl grunge ROCKS!
Spacehog - In the Meantime  *love the lead singer's voice.
Liz Phar - Supernova
DC Talk - Jesus Freak
Joan Osbourne - One of Us
Marcy Playground -   *Any song...I liked it all.
Collective Soul - Run/Shine/The World I Know
CandleBox - Far Behind
Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Impression That I Get
Everlast - What It's Like
Rancid - Ruby Soho
Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want
R.E.M. - What's the Frequency, Kenneth?
LIVE - Run To The Water/Dolphin's Cry/I Alone/Lightening Crashes * I liked almost everything they did.
Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight  *I thought Sweet Pea would recognize this one...Otherwise, it wouldn't be on here.
Better Than Ezra - Good
Presidents of The United States of America - Peaches *and many others...I liked them.
Nirvana - *They are a staple....too many songs to list.
Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun/Spoon Man
Cake - *again...anything they did, I pretty much liked.
Deep Blue Something - Breakfast At Tiffany's
Toadies - Possum Kingdom
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Aeroplane/Under The Bridge
Soul Asylum - Blood Into Wine/String of Pearls
Sublime - Santaria
Beck - Loser  (I only liked the early Beck stuff...up until they sold out.)
No Doubt - Just a Girl
Jars of Clay - Flood
Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground
Filter - Take a Picture
Stone Temple Pilots - Plush/Big Empty/Interstate Love Song/Trippin On a Hole in a Paper Heart
Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight Tonight/Today/1979/Disarm  *They were great musicians.
Train - Meet Virginia
Pearl Jam - Even Flow
Bush - Glycerine
The Cranberries - Zombie *I liked all their stuff.
GooGooDolls - Name  *This is the only GGD song that I liked.
Cure - Friday, I'm in Love
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
Radiohead - Creep/Karma Police
Temple of The Dog - Hunger Strike
Eve6 - OpenRoad Song
Cracker - Low
Weezer - Sweater Song/Buddy Holly/Say It Ain't So  *okay...pretty much everything they've done.
Lit - My Own Worst Enemy
Days of the New - Touch, Feel, and Stand
Tonic - You Wanted More/If You Could Only See/Lemon Parade
Joydrop - Beautiful
4 Non Blondes - What's Up?
Green Day - Basket Case *Pretty much everything but "Time of Your Life"
U2 - One
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
Republica - Ready to Go
Creed - Higher/What's This Life For?/My Own Prison  *Again...pretty much all of it.
Hole - Malibu

Those stubborn stains!

I have heard SO many times about people trying to figure out the best way to get pesky stains out of their cloth diapers.  There are just as many suggestions as there are types and styles of diapers.....SO, I figured I would put my two cents in.

Now, I'm going to review a few basics of laundering practically anything.  Because, sometimes we miss the basics.  This comes from laundering techniques that our Grandma's Grandmas used and I tell you, you just can't go wrong.  AND, always look at the manufacturer's directions for temperature and type of washing instructions too.

• Rinse stains in the same temperature that they are made in.  If it's ice cream, use cold water; coffee, use hot water; body fluids, use 98.6 (or "warm") water.
• Use lemon juice sparingly if you feel you have to use it.  Lemon juice is good for whitening, but it's also a harsh acid, so it will break down your fabrics quickly.  Faster if they are natural fabrics (like cotton, bamboo, and hemp).  So, those pesky holes are usually caused by too much acid.
• Sun to get out stains, but only for short periods.  Sun can also cause fabrics to break down.  So, if you use the sun for your "whitening", do it in one hour periods.
• Make sure that if you are just rinsing, you have a lot of water.  When you wash, only have as much water as you need for the items to move freely, yet rub against each other.  (Think like washing your hands.  You have to rub your hands to get the soap to work.)  Too little water and your items will be stuck and not move.  Too much water and they won't agitate against each other, making it impossible for your soap to work.
• If you "spot treat" items with set in stains, make sure that they are clean and dry before you start.  (Don't try to spot treat really dirty or wet clothes.)  If you are "spot treating" a new spot, then do it before you rinse the item.  Let "spot treated" clothes sit for at least 20 minutes (you can go as long as overnight) before rinsing and washing to give the "spot treater" time to work.

Now on to a few basics specifically about cloth diapers.  

• If you find your cloth diapers are retaining smells, increasing stains, or less absorbent, try stripping them first. 
• To Strip:  It works best to start with dry clean diapers (do not try to strip freshly soiled diapers).  If your diapers are soiled, then do a full wash cycle with ONLY warm water and no detergent to make sure that they are well rinsed.  
• Put your diapers in the washer and fill with as much really hot water as you can get into your washer (HE machines, add a soaked wet bath towel to the load to weigh it down.)  Add twice as much of your detergent as you usually use (usually about 2-3 tbsp of powdered detergent.)  Then let them sit for 4-6 hours or overnight.  After time has passed, run the full wash cycle.
• You can also use your bathtub for this step.  Fill it full of really hot water and then when you're done, drain the tub and step on the diapers with clean bare feet to squish out the water.  If you do this, make sure that the kids can't get near the tub (because it's a drowning hazard.)
• Continue with hot water wash cycles until there are no bubbles in the water during rinse. (Usually around 2-4 wash cycles.)
• You should only need to strip once every few months (if even that much) or when you switch detergents.  Always strip with a new detergent to get the old detergent build up out of the diapers.  If you feel you need to strip more often (or use additives) then maybe it's time to change up your wash routine and/or detergent that you use.
• If you still have pesky stains after stripping, then use my "Super Duper Spot Treater".  (This stuff works really well on most things.....like Koolaid stained kitchen rugs, grass stains that have been there for 3 months, baby clothes that were stained years ago, etc.)
• Start with clean and dry items.
• Put 2-3 tbsp of baking soda in a bowl.  Add equal amounts of hydrogen peroxide.  Then add a tsp of Blue Dawn dishsoap (the regular stuff).  Mix well.
• Use a soft cloth or soft bristled toothbrush to apply the mixture to the spot in small circular motions.  Use as much as you need to start seeing the spot get lighter.
• Let the items sit for 20 minutes or longer (even overnight if they are very dark stains.)
• Put them into a hot wash cycle with detergent.  Then follow with hot wash cycles with no detergent until there are no bubbles in the water at rinse.  (You can also do a rinse before the first wash with detergent if you want....it's up to you.  Play around with the wash routine.)
• Dry like normal and your spots should be magically gone. Once in a while, you'll have a REALLY stubborn stain and you might have to repeat the process.  If this happens, let the item sit longer than you let it sit the first time with the mixture on it.  (Twice as long if it was under an hour the first time.)

And viola!  You have clean, unstained diapers.  This spot treater is very safe on most fabrics and won't break down fibers like lemon and sun can.

Potty time

Wow!  So, here we have it, the end of one diapering journey.  Little Man is now officially potty trained.  He has gone 5 full days without an accident.  He loves his underoos too!  I have been SO excited on how quickly it all happened.  He has been wearing trainers for months now and he occasionally sat on the potty.  Then 3 weeks ago, we started a "sticker system".  I made a chart for him for potty and sleep times hoping to encourage him to use the potty and stay in bed.  If he went potty, he got a sticker.  If he stayed in bed for nap/bed time, he got a sticker.  Then, once he filled the sheet, he got to go to the local cupcake store to "cash in" his chart for a cupcake of his choice.  After two cupcake trips, he started to potty in his trainers between potty times.  So, we tried to alter the deal by saying that he can get a sticker if he's dry when he goes potty.  That wasn't as effective as I had hoped it would be.

So, one morning, I decided to just not put the trainer on him.  That day, he had two accidents.  He didn't like the way it felt going down his leg and kept asking me to let him take a shower after his accidents.  That night, I ran to the store and bought his underoos and threw them in the wash.  The next morning, he had his underoos to wear and he did fabulously.  He even went to my mom's house for a sleep over that night and stayed dry the whole time he was gone.  Since he's been back, he's stayed dry...even overnight!

I am so proud of my Little Man.  And now, Peanut is joining the party.  They are so adorable sitting on the potty next to each other.  Oh my.....my world is changing!