Croup

I tell you what....croup sucks.  Anytime your kids are sick is just no fun for anyone, but croup sounds so scary!  Of course, now that we've experienced it, it's not quite as scary anymore.  We have had miscellaneous viruses floating around our family for the last few months.  With 4 adults, 3 kids (one of them school aged), 3 cats and 2 dogs living in one house, it's bound to happen.  Especially since my parents travel for work so often.  Well, one of those viruses happened to hit Little Man.  Started with a cough and a stuffy nose.  He was breathing fine, but his voice was hoarse.  It was just like the last virus he had a month before.  Then it turned into full blown gasping for breath at 11 pm, whooping sound.  I swooped him up and took him straight to the ER.  I was terrified that he caught whooping cough or RSV or some horrific thing.  It turned out to be croup.

House Selling Experience - Part 2

I am continuing my story.  Here is Part 1, just in case you missed it.  It started out well, but took a turn for the worst.

We had a showing of our house on the very first night that it was listed.  I was convinced that this was a good sign.  I had to call our Realtor two days later to find out how the showing went.  She was very vague and said that the people who saw it were just starting their search and were wanting older houses with more finished square footage and a flat backyard.  This made me wonder why they looked at ours at all, but I didn't linger on that thought long.  We had three more showings in that first month and one Open House where one person showed up.  She had promised to get it on a 'Realtor's tour' (where Realtors go around to houses to see them with other Realtors every Tuesday and Thursday); which she never did.  She had one more Open House where two women showed up and said that they were also looking at another area of the city too.  There were no more Open Houses after that, even though she kept going on and on about how she was going to do Open Houses all the time and that she just loved doing Open Houses.

Then July hit and it got HOT.  This was one of the hottest summers that I could ever remember (and yes, it was probably worse because I was in my second trimester).  I also knew that this would cause house seekers to do more of their house hunting online....which meant that our house wouldn't get that much exposure because our Realtor didn't understand Social Media marketing.  We had one showing that whole month.  It was frustrating.  I was in contact with our Realtor and I kept asking, "How are things going?  How is the house?  Is there anything that we need to do to get more showings?"  I kept getting the same answer every time that everything was just fine and that it was the slow market because of the heat.  My Mom and I came down to the house with the kids on July 18th.  When we came into the house, the kitchen sink and counters were dirty and there were paper towels left crumpled in the sink.  It was also in desperate need of vacuuming and the plants were in need of water.  We figured that it was just because there hadn't been a showing for a few weeks and overlooked the other little things.  Before we left, we cleaned the windows and the kitchen again.  We vacuumed and got everything back in order.  We couldn't mow, but I told my Realtor that so she could have it taken care of.

The weekend before school started in the first part of August, The RacDad and I went down to check everything out.  We had gotten calls from our neighbors that it was in need of some maintenance.  We were shocked at what we found when we got there.  There were weeds so thick that they were choking out the flowers in the front gardens.  Nothing had been watered during the insane dry and hot weather.  There were weeds growing up in the cracks of the driveway that were bigger than dinner plates.  Nothing had been mowed or trimmed.  This made me upset.  I was starting to question our Realtor's work ethic and her dedication to get this house sold.  I was also upset because we originally talked about only having it listed up to Aug. 1st and then we would try to rent it out, but she wrote the contract to go to October....too close to my due date for comfort.  At the time that we signed that contract, I trusted her and didn't say anything about it.  We spent the day getting the house put back together again and getting it back to show quality.

After a frustrating month of inconsiderate texts from her, lack of communication and no showings, I was finally at the end of my rope. I was so sick and tired of hearing about these other houses in the area (that have sold since) that are 'showing so well' with no feedback as to what we could do to be competitive.  I even suggested lowering our price and she said that it was fine at the beginning of the month and then 2 weeks later I get a text that said, "Consider a price reduction."  Like it was her idea.  Plus, you don't text someone with something like that.  If it deals with money, have a little consideration; pick up the phone and talk to the person!  (Those who know me, know that I don't text.  I refuse to text back, and she knew this.)  I was getting rubbed the wrong way all month; plus we had not had even one offer in three months since we hired her!  She was telling me about how she was finding people who were interested, but couldn't get financing.  Or she was bringing people over even though it was out of their budget or smaller than they wanted.  Why waste the time on people who will obviously not want it or could afford it?!

After a lot of talking, The RacDad and I had our lawyer draw up lease agreements for us and we started our search of finding a renter for our house.  We went down on our Anniversary (the last week of August) to get the storage unit organized so that we could move our furniture out of the house and get it emptied.  We called her a few days before to let her know that we were going to empty the house.  She said that she was going to have 2 showings just a couple days before we were going to be there.  We were excited because there was finally going to be some traffic.  We didn't hear anything back from the showings and couldn't get a hold of our Realtor the day that we were coming down.  We got into town that Saturday at 11:30 pm.  It was late and we were exhausted.  Here is the list of things that we came home to:

• The informational flyers in front AND inside the house were still at the original listing price. We lowered the price a week before.  There had been plenty of time to get these updated, or at least removed until the updated info could be displayed.
• There was a dead ivy plant hanging off of the wall. It looked like this plant has not been watered since I was last there 4 weeks ago.

• The three violets are almost dead and the soil was so dry that you could lift them completely out of the pots.

• There were dried grass clippings all over the floor of the living room and the stairs.

• Spots on the couch upstairs that look like food was dropped on it.

• There were dead bugs all over the carpets in the basement AND on the kitchen floor.  (They could have been easily picked up with a tissue instead of left for people to think that we had an infestation.)

• The toilet seats were up.  (Which is a major pet peeve of mine and never happens in my house.)

• The towels in the master bathroom had been used and not even put back nicely. Not only that, but there was proof that someone was doing their makeup in there and leaving the cellophane garbage on the vanity.  Plus, it was MY makeup that was used!  And the washcloths were missing....I still haven't found them.

• There was a milkweed next to the air conditioner in the back yard that was at least 3 feet high and the bush in the backyard was completely overgrown with grass.

And that's just what we could see in the dark!  It ended up that the next day we found that our bush and all of our flowers had been killed.  Also, the downspouts had been left off of the house and there was a big hole....luckily no water in the basement!

We spent that evening writing up an email addressing all of the issues that we could see that night and we sent it off to her.  We requested that she get in contact with us the next day to address these issues.  We also explained about how we were still willing to work with her.  We told her that we weren't upset that she didn't do this stuff herself; we were upset that she didn't tell us that it needed to be taken care of.  I also couldn't believe that she would show the house twice that week with the house in that kind of condition!  No wonder we had no offers!

We had absolutely no contact from her that day.  The next day, we had to leave town by 11:30 am to make it to my ultrasound.  We got everything fixed up around the house again and the storage unit arranged.  We knew that we would have to go back the next weekend to move the big stuff out because we didn't have time to get it done with all the work we had to do around the house again.  I decided that since we couldn't get in contact with her and she wasn't contacting us, that I needed to get in touch with her manager.  I contacted him right at 8 am that morning....I wasn't going to waste time.  I told him the story and that I wanted to talk to her and get things made right again so that she could sell our house.  He said that he'd talk to her and have her come and meet us.  I also told him of our time constraints that day and he said that he would make sure she knew.  She called me at 10:20 am.  She said that she was on her way to a showing on the South side of town and would be available at the office around 11:30 am.  She then said that we should just sign cancellation papers and leave it at that and that she'd leave our key on the front porch.  Then she hung up.  I couldn't believe it!  She quit!  Plus, for one, we couldn't meet her at 11:30.  For two, she would NOT leave the key to my house sitting right by the front door!  I was livid!  I called her manager back.  He said that he was disappointed and that he'd draw up all of the paperwork and send it to us to sign and return back to him.  He also said that he'd get the key and mail it to us.  I voiced my concerns about the cost to replace all of the plants that she killed, but he never responded to that.

So, we were stuck with no Realtor and repairs to make because of her negligence.  We came down the next weekend and got all of the furniture out and everything ready for us to try to sell or rent it on our own.  We are quite jaded from this experience.  I hope that my experience can help you spot the warning signs so that no one else has a bad experience like we did.

**All opinions written are from my personal experience.  Everyone's experiences with house buying/selling is different.  Nothing written is intended to be professional advice.  If you have a question or concern about a Realtor, please contact your personal lawyer or Realty Board.  I cannot be held liable for another person's experiences.  I am also not liable for any thing resulting from this post to the Realtor or her company.**

"Labor Day #1"

I thought that it would be fun, with Labor Day around the corner, to start sharing a little personal information about my labor experiences.  I also wanted to share with you the births of our first two, since Peanut is heading our way in another 50 days or so.

Sweet Pea is our first born.  I was 21 years old.  We didn't find out what she was going to be and it was a really fun surprise.  I had been seeing my OB every week at that point and I was having intense contractions for days before that last visit. I was a day away from 38 weeks and he said that everything was just fine.  My contractions were very irregular so he told me that they would even out when it became time.  I went to work and got home at about 10:30 that night.  I woke up at 6:30 am, startled and wet.  Oh great!  I had heard that you can lose bladder control when pregnant, but this was not fun.  So I waddled down to the bathroom when I realized that it was actually my water that broke!  But my contractions were still irregular!  So, I woke up The Raconteur Daddy and in his sleepy daze and shocked expression on his face, we grabbed the bags and got in the car for the 40 minute drive to the hospital.  I called my Mom and Dad and he called his Dad and then his Mom.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 am.  They made me ride the wheelchair all the way up to Labor and Delivery.  The nurses checked me out; I was at 3 centimeters and my contractions were still irregular.  They wouldn't let me walk around or get up because my water had broken already.  Because they wouldn't let me out of bed, they did allow me to get the epidural right away.

Now, it was a Saturday.  I had just seen my OB the day before.  He never told me that they don't work on the weekends.  The 'on call' OB from his practice (who I had never met) came in and informed me that he would be the one taking care of me.  I was upset and scared.  Here's this stranger that I had never heard of coming in instead of my doctor.  I guess there wasn't anything that I could do about it though.

My parents came in to be with RacDad and I.  The doctor immediately ordered pitocin to 'make my contractions regular'.  This didn't help, it just made them come quicker.  So I would get 3 right on top of each other, then a couple minutes later I'd have two, etc.  The doctor then left the hospital.  I was at 5 centimeters and it was 10 am.  I stayed at 5 for what seemed like a long time.  The nurses would come and check on me every so often, but there wasn't much change.  At 2:30, the nurse came in and checked on me and I was finally at 8 centimeters.  I asked her how much longer she'd think it would take.  She told me it would probably be a few more hours and she left the room again.  My Dad came over to watch the contraction graph again (he thought it was interesting, like watching spark graphs on a car).  He looked at me and said, "Are you feeling OK?"  I replied, "I feel funny."  So they called the nurse right back in after being gone for 10 minutes.  She sighed and said that she'd check me again.  When she lifted the sheet, she got white in the face and said, "Don't do anything!  The baby is right there!"  She called in other nurses and they called the doctor to tell him to come back to the hospital.  There was no time to wait.  So, they pulled the OB (from a different practice) out of the next room.  She came in and suited up.  One push later, I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms!  It was 3:03 pm.

Everything happened so quickly that my body didn't have a chance to stretch in the places that it needed to (finding out later that was thanks to the pitocin).  So, the doctor that delivered Sweet Pea had to do an episiotomy.  I was upset because that was the one thing I didn't want to happen, but again, I had no choice in the matter.  The doctor that was supposed to be there finally showed up when they were weighing Sweet Pea and the OB was starting to prep me for sutures.  He pushed her aside and told her that he could finish up.  So he sewed up the episiotomy and left the hospital again.

They whisked away Sweet Pea and RacDad to go to the nursery to clean her up and do her check ups while the nurses were rubbing my fundus.  I wish that I could have been with her the whole time, but that's not how the hospital did things.  The nurses were working hard because I was still bleeding.  At first they thought that it was because Sweet Pea's umbilical cord was only 12 inches and they thought that there was tearing.  After 1.5 hours, and not getting to see Sweet Pea because they were taking care of me, the nurses finally got the doctor on the phone.  He told them to just give me a couple shots and keep rubbing the fundus.  I had finally lost 7.5 units of blood when they called the doctor again 20 minutes later.   He finally came sauntering in as they were prepping RacDad for a transfusion and ushering my parents out.  He found that he had missed an artery when stitching me up the first time.  He said that I didn't need a transfusion because I was young enough to recover.  So, he gave me a second episiotomy (with no local anesthesia!) and stitched me up again.  It was agony feeling the whole thing and not having the strength to respond!  I couldn't even see anything at that point except for bright white.

I don't remember much after that point.  It was a terrifying time for my parents, not knowing what was happening.  It was also terrifying for RacDad, being there watching, not knowing if he'd be a single dad.  I just remember trying so hard to stay awake and trying to respond to him when he'd say my name, but it was impossible to do.  I could hear the fear in his voice and the nurses voices, and it still echos in my ears today.  I was so scared for him.

I finally came to around 8 pm.  I was allowed to eat and my Dad went and got me the most amazing Prime Rib dinner from a great restaurant up the street.  I don't remember getting moved to the Recovery room, but that's where I had dinner.  I finally got to see Sweet Pea and try nursing her for the first time.  She was taken back to the nursery.  The nurses continued to 'supplement' her with formula through the course of my 4 day hospital stay.  I just didn't have the strength to be able to have my supply come in well.  It took 2 full weeks for me to recover enough to be able to get out of bed by myself.  Poor RacDad had to not only take care of me, but take care of Sweet Pea on his own too.  He went back to work and I started on my road of getting healthy again.  After 6 weeks, I had to go back to work and my mom took over as Sweet Pea's daytime caregiver when RacDad and I had to work at the same time.

It was a very difficult experience to get over.  That's one of the few reasons why there are so many years between Sweet Pea and Little Man.  I also think that there were residual things that caused the two miscarriages that happened between Sweet Pea and Little Man, but that's for another day.

Just remember that if there is something that you need or want for your child, don't be afraid to speak up about it.  I was so young and didn't know that I could have told the nurses to not give her formula.  I didn't know that I could demand that I nurse her right away and be the sole person to feed her.  I didn't know that I could have told that horrible doctor that he needed to step aside and let the other OB finish her work.  I know that most labors don't go according to 'the plan', but if there is something that you really want (or don't want) don't be afraid to say something.  It won't offend the nurses or doctors, they are there for you...not the other way around.

Overwhelmed

I do not normally complain about the goings on in my life.  I figure that there are other people out there that have it worse than I do, so why complain about my trivial things.  But, I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now and would really love to share it with all of you.  We have had an intense six months!

Raconteur Daddy lost his job on Thanksgiving....yep that's right, nice boss huh?  So, it has been a very stressful time for us.  We have been doing OK by utilizing all the resources we could from assistance to unemployment, help from family and using what little savings we had.  Plus my mad budgeting skills came into play.  During this time, we also found out that we were unexpectedly expecting our third child!  It seems no matter how hard we try to be careful, we never get to decide when our children will come.  I guess God likes to keep me on my toes!  We are so very excited to be able to have another baby though.  Through this time, RacDad and I have really relied on each other.  We have turned to our faith to help us through, especially when it seems like too much.  I just keep remembering that God will never give us more than we can handle.  This time has been precious too.  It's been a blessing to have RacDad home to watch Little Man grow and change as he becomes a toddler.  He's also been able to appreciate our Sweet Pea and the wonderful young lady she's becoming.  We've had the time to be more active in our community and our church.  Even though our pocket book has been tight, we've been able to help and contribute with our time and work to help others.  We've been able to sit back and view our path and really take a deep appreciation for each other and our wonderful kids.  I don't know if I've ever been more in love with him!

Now, we are leaving our house to head back home to South Dakota.  This is bittersweet for everyone because we finally feel like we belong here, but we are excited to be closer to family too.  We will miss our closest neighbor and her family, and our friends from church and school.  We will miss our house, church, school, doctors and dentist.  On the other hand, we are looking forward to reconnecting with our friends and family in South Dakota.  We are looking forward to the new job that RacDad has and the exciting opportunities there.  We are overwhelmed by the thought of finding a new house, but we know that it's just another hurdle to jump to get back to being settled in.  I look forward to day trips to the zoo, hanging out at the Falls, going hiking in the Palisades, and allowing my kids to experience a childhood like I did.  Being around family and close friends is what is priceless in this transition.

So, Sweet Pea is on her way to Nashville to visit my brother and his family.  This is her birthday present this year from her Grandparents.  I still can't believe that she's going to be a Tween!!  Nine years old is quite the milestone....her last year as a single digit.  RacDad is starting his job.  Little Man and I are putting finishing touches on the house and it will be listed on the market within the week.  Well, I'm trying to get finished and Little Man is getting into the boxes.

We are blessed to have a family that supports us through this transition.  They have been wonderful to remind us that everything is going to be OK.  The most important thing is the emotional support that they give, not what they can provide.  That hope and optimism is what gets us through the day.

Thank you so much for also helping me through this too.  Being able to write and have something to focus on has been a great outlet for me and I appreciate each and every one of you that follow my journey.  I have made some wonderful connections and learned a lot of new things.  I'm looking forward to the exciting things that are going to happen this summer and in the future on OTTW.

"Life's not fair" lessons....

I have felt bad that I haven't spoken much about parenting my oldest.  She really makes being a parent easy.  Just recently, an interesting piece of information came to light and I thought it would make an engaging post.

Here's a little background for you.  We belong to a small town school system that has grown leaps and bounds in the last few years.  They pride themselves on "strong, upstanding morals" that are upheld throughout the school system.  They use the "Discipline with Purpose system" and seem to be very conscientious about student behaviors.

Now, what we learned from another parent was that the PE teacher was picking two captains in class to pick their own teams.  I thought that this kind of practice had been long done away with.  So, one night, I asked our daughter about it.  She said that it did happen.  She explained that the teacher will ask who has not been captain yet and then pick two people who had their hands up.  She said that she had been captain once, but everyone else lied and have been captain two or three times.  She also said that she was often picked last and it wasn't very fun.  I reminded her that she gets picked first for other things and that it's not that big of a deal.  I also found out that this doesn't happen at every class and the teacher does pick randomly too.  That was the end of that conversation and life has been rainbows and roses for her since.

Out of curiosity, my husband and I were asking friends about this practice and what they would do about the situation.  We surprisingly were given many responses about how this is good because it teaches kids that 'Life isn't Fair'.  Now, I agree that picking Captains once in a while is good because it can be a learning experience.  But to think that 'Life isn't Fair'...What a horrible thing to teach a child.  What a cop out as a parent!  No wonder there are so many people out there with a helpless feeling, thinking that 'Life isn't Fair'.

Life IS fair!

Life is about balance.  When something bad happens, something good usually follows.  We need to teach our children that even though bad things happen, good things happen too.  We need to give our children the tools they need to be able to get through an unpleasant or bad situation.  To persevere in the face of injustice and to handle hard times with grace because it will get better.  We need to teach them that there is always hope.  Yes, bad things happen in life and that really sucks, but bad things will pass with time.  People get sick, but then they recover.  People lose their jobs, but then they find a new opportunity.  People pass away, babies are born.  What a wonderful balance there is to the world.  Full of hardships and extreme joys.  What an amazing spectrum of feelings we endure.  Without the bad, how can we truly appreciate the good times.  To just simply say that 'Life isn't Fair' and leave it at that is teaching them that when something bad happens that there is nothing you can do about it and it will never get better.  Teaching helplessness, hopelessness and indifference should have no place in our children's lives.  I promise that no matter how bad you think things are right now....they will always get better.